The Madman's Song

Star Trek II: The Wrath of the Bard Part 1

2009-12-11T03:16:00.001-05:00

Click to Play

WARNING: What you are about to watch is incredibly geeky. And not the good kind. If you are a geek, you may find yourself sputtering with righteous indignation. If you are not a geek, you make fall asleep or gain 7 points on the geekonometer. Clips takes from Star Trek: The original Series. Episodes Catspaw, The Conscience of the King, and Space Seed.

Part 2

2009-12-11T02:28:00.001-05:00

Click to Play

Clips taken from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Vlog Rant

2009-11-18T19:05:00.002-05:00

Here you have it...my first venture into video blogging. Sadly, my setup is kinda inadequate here. Got a mike back home that I'll have to figure out (I think), and I may pick up a real video camera sometime, but for now you'll just have to suffer through my stumbling logic in questionable audio and visual quality.

Every one is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody

2008-08-21T00:58:00.002-04:00

The moon...its so bright tonight...its absolutely beautiful. When it is that bright, I wonder...how dark must its other side be?

Beelzebuzz

2008-08-19T21:13:00.005-04:00

Keep my mother in your thoughts, people. She has to go for a meeting with some of her administrators at the school. Normally a very scary thing...even more so since she knows what its about.

Emerson school district consists of three schools, Memorial (PreK - 2nd), Villano (3rd - 6th), and the Jr/Sr Highschool (7th - 12th). My mother is currently the Librarian at Memorial, Lisa Thomas is at Villano, and some guy I don't remember is at the Jr/Sr High. Anyway, the guy at the High School retired, and Lisa requested to be moved to the High School. So what the meant is there was no one for Villano

So what are they going to do? They want my mother to work both libraries. How the hell is she supposed to do that? She barely has time for what she does now! The work she has done in the little school is absolutely phenomenal, bringing it from the place kids hated with her predecessor, to being the favorite of students, even over gym. How is she supposed to keep that up if she has to work at another school half the time?

The simple fact is though...she is irreplaceable at the moment. While this wont make her able to refuse this reassignment, it will allow her leeway in what she does at Villano. She will refuse to do the AV stuff that Lisa had done, and that will be the big thing.

Oh...and I forgot to mention that my mother and the Principal at that school have a prior history - a bad one. To put it mildly, they HATE each other. Buzz (haha...now do you get the title?!?) would rather have ANYONE else but her. But unfortunately, there is no one qualified for the job, let alone anyone as good as her. So they are stuck with this...for now

Ow...........

2008-08-18T16:28:00.004-04:00

So...I went to the dentist. For the first time in like...ever, I didn't have any cavities! Apparently the dentist likes my teeth...but that's not creepy at all. So, he gave me some wonderful news! He wants me to get my wisdom teeth looked at. Oh happy day! One of the absolute worst procedures ever...but it gets better!

Yup...I'll have to go through it twice! Our dental insurance only covers 1000 dollars for each year. And since it costs 500 a tooth...that mean we can only get two teeth out a year. So, I'll need to ruin two different breaks, in two different years! My life is wonderful!

To Bike, or Not to Bike

2008-08-15T17:07:00.002-04:00

Aight so...transportation is a necessity in this day and age. As of yet, I am sadly lacking in this field! Getting a car would be great but...there are other options. Namely...a motorcycle. Specifically, the Kawasaki Eliminator 125. So, I'm putting together a short pro/con list! Read it, give me some additions, and let me know what your opinion is!

PRO

Cheaper to buy than a car. Kawasaki Eliminator goes for 2,600, while a Toyota my mother would have me get would run over 15,000

Gas Mileage. Very nice...reports that the '05 model could hit 85 mpg. More commonly, I have head 65-70, but that still is a VERY nice thing with today's gas prices.

Not one of those monsters you see people riding on the highway. It can get up to about 65, which makes it capable of getting me from college to home, but it cannot go much faster, keeping it a little safer

It is a beginner bike. A 125 does not have the same power as bigger bikes, making it a good bike for people who aren't too experienced, or who are looking to get started. In fact, it is apparently used by the Motorcycle Safety Foundation.

CON

While safer than other bikes, it is not as safe as a car. There are always risks involved when riding a motorcycle.

The bike can only transport a maximum of two people. Cars can generally fit up to five.

It is not good for transporting things. Without a back seat, you cannot store things in your back seat...

In the long run, it will most likely not last as long as a car would. Pretty soon after college, or maybe even earlier, it would need to be replaced.

OMG COURTNEY!!!

2008-08-09T21:25:00.004-04:00

Ok...so I dont normally do two posts in one day...but omg...Courtney. Have you ever watched the show So You Think You Can Dance? If you haven't, you really should. Some of the dances are absolutely amazing, and the bad auditions can be even funnier than the ones on American Idol. Plus...if you watch it, you get the chance to see people like the incredible (and incredibly hot) Courtney!

She was easily my favorite of the dancers...but she came in fourth. Now, don't get me wrong, fourth is great! Especially at just 20 years old. Still, she was soooo much better then Katee. In case you dont believe me though...watch this dance! Well, watch it when I finally upload it at least. Blogger...your video stuff sucks...

Wasn't...that...just...PERFECT?!? The whole thing was fantastic, Mark was just sooo bizarre, and Courtney...I think that was possibly the hottest thing I have ever seen in my life.

Well...other than this. Imagine the panic a guy would feel if faced with this challenge...

Book Rants: Part Oinos

2008-08-09T20:48:00.004-04:00

Aight so...here are a few of my reviews! Some are good...some are cack...but all are fun! ...for me at least. Anyway, I'm gonna start by giving a professional look at it, a review from Booklist. After that, I'll give you mine! Simple, no? Well...I'm sure someone will get messed up by the format...

VAMPIRE ISLAND: Griffin, Adele

Booklist

Goths-in-training will be delighted with Griffin's tale of hybrid vampire–fruit bat siblings in Manhattan. Though New Yorkers will get more of the in-jokes, even those unfamiliar with the city will appreciate the adventures of 13-year-old Lexington, 11-year-old Madison, and 9-year-old Hudson. After quitting the Old World (Europe) and relinquishing some of their powers, each preserves different and fascinating vampiric and/or bat-related traits. The siblings' main goals are to rid the neighborhood of the pure-blooded vampires across the street; get the students of P.S. 42 to take recycling more seriously; and develop some social graces and make some friends. All missions are accomplished, with a twist at the end that begs for a sequel. Character development is minimal, but fang-in-cheek jokes carry the swift-moving plot. Too old for Bunnicula? Here's a cuddly, friendly vampire story with nary a (human) death.

ME!

It is very hard to ruin a vampire story for children. The entire subject is so full of wonder and excitement that almost anything involving them will be loved. Unfortunately, Vampire Island manages to do just that. For starters, the main characters are vampires, but are vegetarians - as in, they descended from fruit bats. Now, it is of course understandable to put such a mechanism in a book meant for younger audiences, as blood drinking vampires tend to get a bit intense for such a group. For that reason, we can let that little detail slide. The biggest issue with this book is that it is simply too confusing. There are so many different vampire ”facts” in this book, and very few of them are ever explained in any kind of detail, leading the reader to wonder just what the characters are talking about and why. Personally, I have a studied a good amount of vampire mythology, and I was still unsure of what was happening half the time. To be blunt, until I run across a vampire whose blood makes ink become three dimensional as is seen in the book, I would not recommend this book for anyone but the most gifted readers. And even then, they should be warned that if they are hoping for a good vampire story, they will be sadly disappointed.

TAMAR: Peet, Mal

Booklist

It was her taciturn but beloved grandfather, William Hyde, who gave Tamar her strange name. But in 1995, when she was 15, he committed suicide, leaving her to wonder if she knew him at all. Later, when she opens the box of War II memorabilia that he left her, she's struck by the need to find out what it means, who he really was, and where she fits in. Tension mounts incrementally in an intricate wrapping of wartime drama and secrecy, in which Tamar finds her namesake and herself. Forming the backbone of the novel are intense, sometimes brutal events in a small Dutch town in Nazi-occupied Holland and the relationship between the girl's namesake, a member of the Dutch Resistance; Dart, a code operator assigned to help him; and Marijke, the love of his life. Peet's plot is tightly constructed, and striking, descriptive language, full of metaphor, grounds the story. Most of the characters are adults here, and to some readers, the Dutch history, though deftly woven through the story, will seem remote. But Peet's sturdy, emotionally resonant characterizations and dramatic backdrop will pull readers forward, as will the secret that gradually unravels. Despite foreshadowing, the outcome is still a stunner. Winner of Britain's 2005 Carnegie Medal, this powerful story will grow richer with each reading.

ME!

I would like to take this time to tell you that Tamar made me absolutely furious. The book was fantastic. I was on the edge of my seat (quite literally sometimes) for almost the entire book. Then I get to the end, and the stupid author decides to pull an M. Night Shyamalan and put an unnecessary twist into the end of the book. I won’t tell you what it is, but I will tell you this; IT.DOESN’T.WORK. In my eyes, the horrible ending ruined what was otherwise an absolutely thrilling piece of pseudo-historical fiction. If I could, I would recommend reading up till the end, then subbing in an appropriate ending penned by myself. However, as I cannot I will cautiously recommend the book to people who enjoy spy movies and the like. But if you choose to read it…don’t say I didn’t warn you.

THE ALCHEMYST: Scott, Michael

Booklist

When 15-year-old twins Josh and Sophie inadvertently become involved in a plot to steal the Codex from their friend Nick Fleming (aka Nicholas Flamel), they are propelled into a fantasy world of golems, wereboars, and many other creatures that inhabit the netherworld between good and evil. Also known as the Book of Abraham the Mage, the Codex contains the secret formula for eternal youth, but that's just one of the book's wild powers that fuel the twins' adventures. Scott offers a classic fantasy, with mythological references and inferences that are well integrated and do not slow down the exciting action. The writing and story line have a flamboyant style that will put readers on the edge of their seats as they rush to the final page, pausing along the way to savor the author's vivid descriptions of worlds and events. Readers will actively root for the good guys in this exhilarating fantasy--if they can figure out who they are.

ME!

The Alchemyst had the potential to be my absolute favorite of the books I was given to read, and indeed, it started out as such. However, what started out as a simple magical romp soon turned into a piece of confusing and metaphorical piece of junk. There were aspects of it I absolutely loved, such as the depiction of mythological gods. However, it was rather confusing at times, and I found myself rereading pages quite a bit, especially toward the end. And speaking of the end…an absolute tragedy occurred when I got to it. The book ended up being the start of a series. All through the book I had no clue that it was not going to be a one volume thing. Then I got to the end and what hit with a nice little to be continued. Mark my words, the series will not succeed. This book was fantastically done, in regards to seeming like a whole thing in one. However, that will translate over to the next book. It will be impossible to continue in such a style without making it absolutely impossible to begin anywhere but the first book, since all the books will flow directly into one big story. I will however recommend this book, and will even give the sequel the benefit of the doubt when it comes out. I sincerely hope I am wrong, but I will not hold out much hope about the future of this series.

Butterfly Kisses

2008-08-08T23:38:00.004-04:00

Aww...is there any song as sweet and touching as this one? Bob Carlisle really got it right with this one! Come on...can anyone honestly say that they dont get a little misty when hearing it? Hell, I have to fight back tears every time it comes on the radio.

An amazing depiction of the relationship between a father and his daughter, perhaps its just not as potent for those of the female persuasion. But ya know, seeing as how that song just symbolizes everything that I hope for in life, how could it not affect me? To be a father and husband...what more could any man want? Still, can't imagine how hard it would be to watch her grow up and slowly move on...and yet...to see your baby girl grow into a beautiful woman must be so wonderful. If I can experience that and the joy of dedicating my life to that one special woman, I will consider my life well spent! But who knows...maybe, despite my deep desire, it wont be in my future. Ah...all I can do is hope I suppose...

Well, getting past the emotional stuff...due to my pretty weak internet, and general lack of inspiration, I'm going to be sharing some of my reviewing work (past and present) with you! Thats right, over the next couple posts I will be education you on some relatively recent releases of the printed word. So get ready! Starting tomorrow you will learn all about the best and worst of books for teens to young adults!

Not-so-Polar Not-so-Caves

2008-08-04T20:44:00.003-04:00

First, and probably last, post on vacation! Got my sister to take some pictures of our exploits today, and figured my voyeuristic viewers might get a kick out of (or at least be able to waste a few minutes on) some of the fun we had at the Polar Caves!

First...let me introduce you to the PA crew! These are my family members who I am staying with up in New Hampshire.

From left to right are...cousin 1, aunt, uncle, cousin 2. ...you didn't think I'd put their names up did you? Please! I'm smarter than that! Anyway, cousin 1 is bizarre...just ask him! He'll give you some response like..."this is SPARTA!!!!11!11!1!!!!11!". My aunt is fun, she'll hang out and play games and stuff. Plus, she reads lots of the same books as me (Twilight FTW!), so I get most of the books after she is done with them. My uncle is quite possibly the most accident prone person in the county. He also hates to stay on trails...which, as you can imagine, is quite a winning combination. Second only to him, is cousin 2. The difference being that she does not go out of her way to find trouble...it just goes out of its way to find her!

Moving right along...today was our trip to the Polar Caves! They said there would be polar bears...but there weren't any. But thats a gripe for another blog! The polar caves are really just a collection of crevices in the rock piles that, due to their formation, have a controlled temperature inside of them. In this case, the temperature is low enough that ice forms naturally and stays almost through August! (No...I dont know if it is the correct scientific definition of what happens. But shut up! its my blog, and if I say thats the reason, that is most definitely the reason!)

The first thing we came across, was a sign warning people to stay on the trails. Now, if you remember correctly, my Uncle LOVES to go off the trail. He, of course, took offense at this sign and caused this next picture!

He was then escorted away from the group, and shortly thereafter we found this:

Oh...wasn't gonna use names, was I? Eh, screw it...I know who all y'all are anyway. Seriously though...he was fine...but that tombstone really was there! Slightly foreboding, no?

Proceeding on, we got to the kissing bridge! And...guess who? More trouble from my favorite mischievous uncle!

Well, we finally made it to the actual caves, and it was...........not that cold! Kinda comfortable temperature actually. One of the best parts though...were the rock formations that were shaped liked...dogs! There were three of them...the pointer, st. bernard, and pekinese. Unfortunately, amy only took pictures of two of them...(for shame Amy!) Can you see the cute...giant...deadly doggies?

Yeah...some other stuff happened...and then we left! And that was our day at the Polar Caves!

So...I'm gonna go back to swimming now...hopefully those monsters thing 1 and thing two wont attack me again!

So here it is...your moment of zen! (c'mon...you knew I was gonna use that at some point!)

VayCay!!!!!!!!111~!1!!11!!q

2008-07-31T00:30:00.003-04:00

Yup...finally going on vacation! I'm going to New Hampshire till around Wednesday, and then I'm heading down to the Lake George area (I know, isn't it just the perfect spot for me?). Gonna relax (but not), go swimming a LOT, read some good (and not so good) books, and just have a dandy old time! However, I am sorry dedicated readers...this means I will not be able to post for the next two weeks. Now, now, I know it will be a difficult time for you. To make it through, I would recommend visiting some of the sites on the right! They should pass some time till I get back and fill you in on everything that happened. Oh yes...I will have stories for you! Till then, ciao!

Serial Arsonist!

2008-07-29T21:41:00.003-04:00

Ok...I'm bored with the whole Encyclopedia thing. So I'm just gonna tell you about a fantastic development in the continuing sage of my mother's stalker arsonist!

So, this how it happens. My mother finds a restaurant she likes, and it burns down! It has happened something like five times already. Without fail, any restaurant she likes will be gone, or at least closed in a short period of time.

Yesterday my mother and I were going to go to her favorite restaurant, Jalapenos. On the way there, I jokingly asked what would happen if it had burned down. Just as we were rounding the corner I pointed out the fact that I hadn't heard anything from it recently, and she told me that they had actually had something in the newspaper about how it has the best margaritas, or something like that.

Lo, and behold, we pull up and all the lights are off. The best part...plastered all over the windows are signs saying is closed for renovations! The whole inside was torn up, and there was a whole dumpster full of torn up (and slightly black) wood. I just couldn't stop laughing...here was another case of her restaurant burning! And the fact that I said something on the way just made it so much worse...

Here is the real clincher...every single restaurant that has burned down here, has been one that my mother liked, and my sister HATED. Now...you can say its just coincidence...but I think it bears looking into! After all...once or twice is understandable...but five times? Methinks it is too much to take as coincidence...right Amy?

On an unrelated note, thank you to you people who have moved my blog to three continents! Switzerland and Brazil are just the first steps...

Nooooo Ooone (verbs) Like Gaston...

2008-07-28T01:01:00.005-04:00

Gaston was an Internet meme? Who knew! But then, who can blame them for making one out of him. So tonight, continuing the Encyclopedia Dramatica series, I bring you highlights from the short, but fantastic, page on the only man to ever beat Chuck Norris at everything, Gaston!

Made entirely of Titanium, steel and diamond, it is said that he once punched a hole in the space time continuum and killed Hitler and Jesus at the same time. His only goal in life is to have sex with as many women as possible, his current record being 6 (Suiseiseki, Souseiseki, Suigintou, Kanaria, Shinku, Hinaichigo ---he is apparently a dollfag), and to kill furries like the Beast. He is champion of everything, because Noone can (insert verb here) like Gaston.

Now, before you ask, I have no idea who those six women are, nor what a dollfag is. And if you dont know what a furry is...........you probably dont want or need to know. But it is most definitely true...no one (verbs) like Gaston.

It is even rumoured that Gaston is a distant relative of Chuck Norris, and he hates that bastard. Last Thursday, a challenger appeared to counter Gaston's title as the essence of manliness. Yuri Kerane, along with his xxxx-toy Ghinius, declared himself to be more manly than Gaston. It is yet unknown who the victor is. Not to mention his rival Clayton, a lame hilarious forced meme born from the depths of 7chan. Some argue this is Speedycat's doing.

...Clayton does not get his own post. This is because he is all kinds of epic fail. So dont bother waiting for it.

Gaston was originally in the Disney film Beauty and the Beast. Though the film shows Gaston getting pwned, the original ending was that he not only made the Beast into a nice rug, but then proceeded to xxxxx xx xx Belle's xxxxxx before ordering her to make him a sandwich. The rest is history.

More proof that Gaston is pure win. As if any more was needed!

In Lulz We Trust

2008-07-27T01:03:00.003-04:00

Well...this was interesting. Sufing the web and I found the Encyclopedia Dramatica. Completely NSFW, so careful where you click links! Anyway, I found some interesting pages, and I'm really bored, so for the next couple days I'm gonna highlight a few of them! Gonna keep most of it the same...but some of it would get me shot so...yeah. If you can handle the extreme things they say, keep reading! So, we're starting today with the infamous...World of Warcraft!

Everyone makes fun of people who play WoW...I play it, and I still do. The fact is, it's an easy target. Which is why this page was sooooo very long. What is WoW?

World of Warcraft (more like World of Gaycraft, or World of Jewcraft)
commonly known as “WoW” is a computer program for huge faggots created by blizzard after they decided that there were a lot of faggots out there and they could cash in by making a game for faggots. World of Warcraft can also be described as an online role-playing game, a simulated and persistent world where fat greasy nerds, usually weighing Over 9000 pounds, kill internet dragons for pretend money and experience points, making them strong enough to kill bigger internet dragons.

Fairly accurate...not much to correct here. This is indeed what World of Warcraft is like. A lot of them use these microphones rather than typing...and listening to them speak is like sitting in on a Trekkie verbally sparring (basically shouting expletives at, and likewise recieving them from) with a Star Wars fan. The voices...........and their laughter...........it is like the shattering of a thousand windows, mixed with the screaming of a million virgins. Actually...pretty good description. Of course, it is not fair to say everyone is like that...just 97.385% of the population.

Once you get the game, you face the overwhelming decision: Alliance, or Horde? Well, here to help is a handy description of each side!

The Horde

This side is basically furries and 15-year-old boys
who want to be TOTALLY SERIOUS BUSINESS. But they're all fucking idiots too, on both sides. Most of these serious Horde players act like they were paid to play it and harp on people in Ventrilo to not use swear words. If you wish to be invisible in PvP, roll a healing class and you will never be attacked by Alliance. This is because killing the healer first is a valid strategy, but since Alliance is fucktarded, Horde healers are immortal and invisible at the same time.

The Alliance

The Alliance mainly consists of immature players under 13, so usually it's the over-played faction. There's very little cooperation and everyone's a fucking Night Elf. Players choose this also because its the only "pretty" race where one doesn't have to feel like the failure fat fuck cake they really are IRL. Additionally, Alliance PvP is a guaranteed loss, as every wow faggot will run around on their own and shout out immature crap. Real winners.

Ok...still accurate. The Alliance is a bunch of morons, and the Horde are just jerks who like to make other people lose. Not in order to win...just to make you lose. However, the Horde is the overplayed faction...not the Alliance.

Last bit of wisdom I would like to pass on to you, is some class options, and their ramifications on you as a person. Cuz we all know we live in the fake world, and video games alter our reality to match their wishes...no, for realz, its true.

Paladin- The first class available to every wow faggot. You can be a huge wow faggot and heal yourself! It's the Pope with a stallion cock.

Hunter- You capture poor, defenseless animals and make them your slave.

Priest- The whiny healing bitch. Played only by wow faggots who like to attend 80 man raids on a finicky AOL connection.

Warlock- Like Hunters, but satanic. If you enjoy being a huge wow faggot, warlockery is for you. Requires being able to hit five buttons, those wacky warlocks!Usually played by trenchcoat-wearing goth sodomites.

Think its self explanitory. So, I'd like to show you some people who play this game...such as this offended warcraft user! Here is what he said on a forum...

While recently questing on one of my Alliance characters in Nagrand, I came across a Draenei NPC named Corki who is imprisoned by the Boulderfist Ogres. He is understandably angry, yet one of the things he says is unncessary to his character, and too offensive for Blizzard to have in this game. He says "Hey fatso, how do you go to the bathroom with all that fat?" I find this fairly offensive.

Yes, I am extremely overweight. Yes, that is my fault, and it is something I deal with every day, yet I don't expect to find something that makes me feel horrible about myself in a video game. Maybe from the players themselves, but certainly not an NPC created by Blizzard. Since this is an anonymous outlet, I will say something that truly embarasses me. I do have trouble using public restrooms due to my weight problem. Usually, using the toilet at other people's houses is out of the question. I have a specially created toilet in my house. This is something I wish I could change, and probably could if I were a better person, yet I still expect better treatment from Blizzard.

I am a virgin. This will never change. I failed a course in college because, on exam day, the elevator was out of service and the classroom was on the 3rd floor. I was too afraid to even attempt to walk up the stairs, for fear of what others would think of me. I held my cursor over the "Post" button for 10 minutes, thinking about if I should even post this thread. Why? Because I knew how horribly I'd be treated. Even though none of you will likely ever see me, I am still afraid of what you think of me.

Hahahaha...Now, I realize this is probably fake, but still...if this guy was serious he would deserve everything he gets. It is a game...............but some people, like this next person, just can't tell the difference.

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Image:WoWWhore.jpg

Yeah...this one really happened...and what is really sad is she actually did it. Sigh...its people like that...and almost every other person who plays...that makes the other 2.615% of us look bad...

And, cuz you expect it, here is my happy fun picture!

Dell-ightful

2008-07-22T17:52:00.002-04:00

Hahaha...yeah, I know I'm clever!

Called Dell today, about getting a replacement keyboard. For those of you unaware, my "e" and "w" keys have fallen off. If it was just the "w" it would be all good, but "e" is kinda...common. So, I found out my computer is still under warrantee, and called up to get a new keyboard.

Got any idea wha hell is like? Hell is Dell customer service. I was on the phone with them for almost 40 minutes. Talked to three different sections, and gave them all the same info. I waited on hold for at least 3/4s of the time. The rest of the time, I was talking to people who were either morons, or thought I was one. It...was...painful. Totally not worth it.........

Also, I figured out how to confirm myself as the author of this blog on Facebook. However, now you need to sign up as readers! Click the link on the side, and tell it you're a reader! C'mon...you know you want this Red Door Crispie Brownie!!!!

Fuzzball Doom Squad!

2008-07-15T23:48:00.006-04:00

So...cats. Why? Can anyone just tell me why they do half the things they do? I ask myself this at least three times a minute when I'm around them...and it never gets answered.

My two cats...are some the worst in this regard. The first, Moses, is the most skittish cat ever born. If you snap your fingers near him he'll jump 15 feet in the air. In addition, he loves to be on top of you, until he is. Then he can't wait to be off. Unless you are on the laptop of course...then he has to be on top of it. As I type this, he is laying on the keyboard, swatting my hand and pressing random keys. However, the worst is his nibbling. For whatever reason, he love to lick you then nibble. Fingers, chins, noses are all in danger of being "love nipped"

Then...there is Clancy. He...is basically a ball. He just sits around most of the time...but when he decides to be a cat it is very dangerous! He doesn't seem to like things being on tables or dressers, so he will make every effort to push it off. Don't ask me why...but he never fails to do this. Other than that, he just lumps around the house.

Of course, there are common oddities. Such as the love of boxes. WHY?!? Why must they leap into every open box they come across? Well...whatever the reasons...good thing they're cute and cuddly and fuzzy wuzzy...

BTW...the all-star game is pissing me off!

EDIT (1:12): I dont care who wins anymore...just end it...

EDITED EDIT (1:37): It...its over. *sob* Thank god its finally over...

Breaking Dawn!!!!!!!11!eleven!!11!1!!!

2008-07-14T08:18:00.003-04:00

So...I dont usually post in the morning...cuz I'm not usually up. But today I found something special........

Official Press Release: BREAKING DAWN WILL RELEASE ON AUGUST 2, 2008
(Haven't reserved your copy yet? Click
here to pre-order Breaking Dawn.)
2008 MAJOR YEAR FOR MEYER WITH DEBUT
OF ADULT NOVEL AND TWILIGHT MOVIE
February 7, 2008 (New York, NY) — The wait
is over. At 12:01 a.m. on Saturday, August 2, 2008, Little, Brown Books for
Young Readers, a division of Hachette Book Group USA, will release the most
anticipated novel of the year — Breaking Dawn, it was announced today by Megan
Tingley, the division's Senior Vice President and Publisher. The fourth and
final book in Stephenie Meyer's #1 international bestselling Twilight Saga will
be available in a hardcover edition for $22.99/$23.99 Can.

YAY!!!!!! Now, I might be the only straight guy who is INCREDIBLY excited for this book to be released...but I still cannot wait! I loved the other books...my aunt loved the other books...my sister loved the other books (which means everyone loved the other books. hyperbole FTW!). So this realization at how close it is makes me very happy! :~D

...the movie on the other hand, I hate. There is magic in the book...I just dont know if film will be able to capture the intense emotional experience that is Twilight. I watched the first completed scene on MTV.com, and I have to say...it seemed more like a fan film than an actual big budget movie. I dont like Cedric Diggory being Edward...he is not a good enough actor, and SURELY does not look the part of an ancient, beautiful, and dark vampire. Maybe I'm wrong...but I think this movie is going to suck hard and quite possibly be the first real negative in the series' history.

happyfunpicturetimeyay!

Learn Something New Every 39870 Days

2008-07-13T22:41:00.005-04:00

So, I found out why I loath doing yard work so much. Its not the heat...I would rather be warm than cold. Its not that I don't like manual labor...on the contrary, I find it rather therapeutic and calming. And shockingly, its not the dirt either...I've finally gotten over my obsessive need to be dirt free...kinda. No...its bugs.

I HATE creepy crawlies, and they hate me. Who is the one who wakes up to a spider staring at me? Me of course. And who is it that got 5 mosquito bites on one arm alone, over the course of being outside for a half-hour? Me...while my dad (in shorts and a t-shirt, as opposed to my jeans and t-shirt) didn't get bitten at all. I mean...come on! That's just not fair!

So I have good reason to hate bugs...so don't be surprised when the tiny spider on the wall sends me to the other side of the room! Mother always said I'd need to marry someone who could kill bugs for me...

Well, now it is time for my answer to yesterday's math problem! To see the answer, highlight the section below this text. If you haven't tried to solve it yet, no peeking!

Ok, so here goes. The answer I got, which is by no means the only one, was to get 7 mixed fruits. 2.15 x 7 = 15.05. Now this is easy, though tedious through guess and check, so I found a nice little hidden route to this answer. First, convert everything into its value in cents rather than dollars. This gives you appetizers worth 215, 275, 335, 355, 420, and 580, trying to total to 1505. Its a small change, but one that takes out any confusion with decimals. Next, in an effort to get the numbers down to reasonable sizes for the next step, divide everything by 5. That leaves you with 43, 55, 67, 71, 84, and 116, to total up to 301. Now, I took the factors of the desired total, hoping that it would either be one of the given values, or a factor of the others to give me a shove in the right direction. As it turned out, the factors of 301 are............7 and 43! Ding Ding Ding! Testing the answer proved it to be correct, and it was a happy day for all!

Now, you might think my method was fairly confusing...but it was not the worst. I went to the forums for the comic to see how other people had done it, and the most common method was...writing a computer program to test every possible combination of values. W...T...F. And I thought I was obsessive...who knows how long they spent setting that program up? Jeez...my way was so much easier...

So how did you solve it? Tell me!!! I love to learn math...(yes, I know I'm a freak! ;~) )

For any of you still reading, I have a job for you! If you have a facebook, go to http://apps.facebook.com/blognetworks/blogpage.php?blogid=11999 . I have to prove I am the author...and since I know jack squat about the html method, I am relying on you guys to confirm me as the author! Not much work...just go click the confirm button on that site!

...I'll give you a cookie if you do

NP-Complete test time!

2008-07-12T21:10:00.005-04:00

So...quick followup to yesterdays post. Sorry about the small sizes, blogger doesn't like my big pics. So, I was reading through the comic when I came across this:

Naturally, I had to try and solve it. After about 10 minute of dead ends and frustration, I finally managed to solve it! Yay! Now, I would present the problem to my loyal readers...can you find the answer? Guess and chack will work...but thats boring! C'mon...find the hidden mathematical secret that makes this question a piece of cake! I'll post the answer in tomorrow's rant, so act fast! Show me your math talent! (hint: there are many different answers and methods...use what works for you!)

Oh...and given how I was distracted for ten minutes by this simple problem...the following would definitely be me!

π = 3.14159265358helpimtrappedinauniversefactory97937108914...

2008-07-11T22:06:00.010-04:00

Wow...something I never expected to find. Someone actually made a math webcomic. The worst part is, it's actually pretty funny! ...To me at least. It ranges in topic from science...

To a little bit of philosophy (guess who this one is for)...

Then moving to complex/theoretical mathematics (which no, I do not always understand)...

And of course mixing in a little bit of romance...

Despite my best efforts I'm just loving the little charm this comic has! Read it when you get a chance! Its called xkcd, and you can read it at http://www.xkcd.com/ . Enjoy! Oh...and one more tidbit...

Song of Sorrow

2008-07-10T00:41:00.002-04:00

No humor today...just dark remembrances. If you don't want to read anything like that, then you have my warning now.

I was cleaning my room today, when I came across a piece of paper with a good amount of my writing on it. Reading it, I realized it was my old monologue from Play Lab my senior year. Dark as anything, it brought back a flood of memories like I have never experienced before.

I still remember standing up on stage, speaking the words I wrote and fighting back so much emotion. I remember stepping back into the circle, where I was draped with Christmas tree lights. Then the lights faded, leaving just their multicolored glow and the sound of the others slowly reciting some children's rhyme. Then silence, and my light went out. I remember walking off stage to where she was, and finally feeling the tears let loose as she hugged me.

So here it is for your reading pleasure. Just the way it was when it was performed, I have resisted the urge to change wordings. Its not much, nothing special. It doesn't have the power it had when I was on stage baring my soul...but it is me.

If I died, no one would notice. And why should they? Since when do people notice the person on the sidelines? No, its those on the field that are in people's hearts. Does Beauty ever love the Beast? No, Prince Charming is the one for that. In fact, in how many stories does the Beast not only lose what he desires, but his very life as well? But then...that's a gift for him, isn't it. In death, everyone is equal. Whether from East side or West; White, Black, Yellow; Christian, Jew or Atheist, everyone dies. In that instant, what is left? An empty shell. But...people can't leave it there, can they? Even after death, the judgements continue. The only difference is, you aren't there to see it. You wont feel the sting of a subtle rejection, you wont know if the only people at your funeral are those forced to be. But...that doesn't change the fact that it happens, does it? And really, isn't the fact that people came because they were forced to, worse? Screw them, I don't want them there. I don't want people's last memory of me to be that they were forced to go to my funeral. But then...who does that leave? I can think of maybe six people I would truly want there. And you know what? I would be shocked if more than two of them came. Because after all, who goes to the funeral of the hated Beast.

They dont think I see them down there...underneath my foot...

2008-07-07T20:41:00.005-04:00

So I went out to go swimming this morning, when I saw that my pool was home to a myriad of deceased insects. Needless to say, the idea of swimming in such an environment was less than pleasing, so i decided to start cleaning it instead. And as I stood there, skimming pounds of dead bugs off the surface, I started to think. I know, I know...mistake number one, but it still produced interesting questions, and equally puzzling answers. My question was why do these bugs continue to drown in my pool?

I know, its nothing that would earn a scientific award but still...it puzzled me. The results of going into the water were apparent...any bug flying toward it would have been able to see its comrades' corpses floating there. Why then do they continue to take the final plunge?

Naturally (well...at least it seemed so in my mind...), my mind drifted toward elephant graveyards. You know...that whole myth about how old elephants would go to some sacred location when it was there time to die. Probably a lot of bunk, but I couldn't help connecting it to the bug situation. Is it not possible that the pool is, for them, a ritualistic place for them to die? Yes, yes, I know it sounds stupid, but can you prove me wrong? I doubt it.

Anyway...assuming that it is some kind of sacred insect burial ground, what does that make me? Here I am...pulling the dead and dying out of the water. Do I hold some place in insect myth? And if so...is it a good one? Am I seen as some kind of Charon, ferrying the souls of those departed bugs from this resting place and into the next buggy world? Or could it be...that I am evil? A stealer of souls...operating by denying the dead their eternal rest in sacred waters. Could I be their Satan? Using my skimmer to pull them down to the ground, and into bug hell.

If that is the case, am I necessary? I mean...do they see my actions as just? Perhaps I am only stealing the wicked away, in which case they would see what I do as necessary, respecting and fearing me. However, it could also be that I am seen as something to overcome. An adversary who they must destroy to find their way to heaven. Such an outlook is not very good for me.

So...how long before they rise up against me? Might I go about the task tomorrow, and be attacked by the unseen swarms? Yellow jackets, Spiders, flies, gnats, anything could be waiting out there. They have the numbers...if they chose to they could strike tomorrow and claim victory if they band together against the common threat. But I wont be beaten...they try daily, landing here and there on me...then disappearing when I go to look. But now I understand...now I SEE the truth behind their actions. And I will not fall prey to their revolt. If they come will grind them beneath my boot where they belong. I am dominant...I am man.

...but if they bring them in I am definitely screwed.

I Like Loud Music!

2008-07-03T21:51:00.002-04:00

Sure...it'll make you go deaf...but it is worth it to blast nightwish and see the rear view mirror shaking with the bass beat. Satisfying!

...thats all. go back to you lives now. Or did you expect me to put up some picture with my post? Hmph...fine...but not because you ask me to! The voices wont leave me alone unless I do...

Not-so-secret lives of the American Dumbass

2008-07-01T20:33:00.007-04:00

What is the deal with this all of a sudden? When did teen pregnancy become such a popular thing? I am so sick of turning on the TV and seeing yet another ad for Juno or that other Spears girl or this sucky new show. I cannot possibly be the only person that doesn't want to have to think about this again. It is a horrible, painful subject, and making light of it will have repercussions on the future.

Now, anyone who knows me should know that I think it is stupid to blame violence, promiscuity, and all these horrible events on TV and video games. People have the ability to make their own choices and have to accept the consequences. GTA does not cause people to go out on shooting sprees, DnD does not teach occult practices, and sex on TV does not make girls go out and become sluts.

That being said, violent video games and TV shows do desensitize us when we are exposed to real life violence. I love my violent shows and games, but I cannot deny that it changed how I view real tragedies. Likewise with sex on TV and in movies (though DnD has nothing to do with occult...sorry mother you were VERY wrong there). So what is going to happen when teen pregnancies become so ingrained in media? It wont make people want it to happen or try to cause it...but the impact will be severely lessened in the minds of teens. I hope I'm wrong...and maybe I am.

(I'm never wrong BTW)

Well...in other news, xbox 360 and xbox live is cool...rock band well, rocks. VBS was fun...but I would have been a better Jesus. And I'm resuming tutoring next week. Math teacher away!!!

...maybe I chose wrong.

Nah! There are most definitely enough pervy gym teachers out there. And I quote: "I love it when the girls wear those shorts with the writing on their butts. Gives you a reason to look." Yep...great people those gym teachers!

Farscape

2008-06-30T23:30:00.004-04:00

Its great! I dont usually like tv shows...just keep them on for noise. This however is incredible! It is everything good about Sci-Fi (weird places and creatures and techs) and makes it comical. Honestly...its made by Jim Henson. Its like its muppets! Its just amazing. And the best, most memorable, was when the insane villan Scorpius showed up in a Hawaiian shirt. Priceless! The entire show is like that...kinda satirical, but still keeping its Sci-Fi roots. Watch it! Except...you can't...cuz its never on anymore. Why, you'd have to speak Chinese and go to youku.com to be able to watch it...but it is worth it!!!

Stupid People...

2008-06-20T21:05:00.003-04:00

...should not be allowed to drive. Mein Gott...there should be an IQ test to determine who is allowed to drive a car. People should know that if someone is trying to back up, and you have lots of open space to stop randomly then stopping behind the person trying to back up is STUPID. And...how about try to back up because you're on a one way road and not allowed to drive the way you want to go? Common sense people...like telling that green on the traffic light means go. Yes stupid guy from yesterday who sat there staring at the green light without moving, this comment is directed at you. Either get off the road, or go get a botched lobotomy so you have a legit excuse as to why you are such a goddamn incompetant waste of human flesh.

Yep...I'm frustrated. So...happy pic!

Wait...that doesn't make me feel better...just takes even more of my faith in humanity away...

4.0...woah

2008-06-08T17:18:00.002-04:00

Ok...I'm geeking out. D&D 4.0 looks AMAZING. Its absolutely fantastic. Yep...thats all!

POWER TO MATH!!!

2008-06-02T20:04:00.005-04:00

So wow! Great news from my tutoring job. I've been working with this girl for two weeks, and met with her twice so far. When we started she was doing very poorly..."C"s and lower. Just found out today that she has gotten back two grades since our session last Tuesday. One was a 93 and the other was a 100! Yay!!! I dont like to toot my own horn but...gotta think I might have had a little something to do with it. Maybe I will be a good math teacher!

Also...a teacher at my mom's school had to make sure I had an earring. Apparently its a good thing for a guy to have one. Why? Cuz a man who has an earring has experienced pain and can buy jewelry. Hmm...does that sound right to you?

And now bad news. I tried to buy a CD through iTunes (yes, sometimes I do get my music legally). It was Nightwish's "Dark Passion Play". Imagine...a cross between opera and metal. Amazing. Well anyway, the program charged me for it...then didn't download it. So I sent a message to customer support and...they told me I wasn't charged. Thats really funny...since I had 15 dollars in gift money on it...and now I dont.

Well, thats enough for tonight. More tutoring tomorrow, teaching kids to act on Thursday, job interview on Friday, then a trip out to the 'Berg on Saturday if all goes well. I'll keep you posted! And...omg...d&d 4th edition comes out on the 6th. It will be hawt...or the crushing weight of disappointment will cause me to...continue playing 3.5 Dont do that to me Wizards!!! ;~)

Boonton High School Presents The 37th Annual GSA Show!

2008-05-30T23:49:00.002-04:00

Yep...thats where I was tonight. The 37th GSA competition. I know what you are thinking...GSA is not the Gay Straight Alliance. Nope...Girls Sporting Association, or something like that. My cousin Rachel was in it, so I went out to see the show. It was interesting. Very loud to say the least. Basically, there were two teams - red and black. Each team picked a movie and created a dance show around it. They each had to have six dance numbers; Jazz, Glowands, Modern, Aerobic Tumbling, Timewasters (men), and Surprise (whatever they wanted). This time, the black team chose Monsters Inc., and the red team (my cousins team) chose Shrek.

Honestly, there was no real contest between the two teams. Its possible I'm biased, but I think the red team did soooo much better. The blakc team just was not together. The synchronization was sloppy, transitions took way to long, and they took like 45 minutes to do the first 30 minutes of the movie. The red team though, was all in tonight. They moved together, were very exciting, and they had some kickass costumes. Now...I know its cuz I'm a guy...but and skin shown should be shown by a person of the female persuasion. Understand black team...that lacking, leads to instant fail. Always remember girls...

Omg...they just...GAH!!!

2008-05-29T12:09:00.003-04:00

I just got back from my mom's library. O...M...G...they are...not human. I'm in there, one of the kids comes up and asks how old I am. I say 19, and he is like oh...so are you in high school? I say no, I'm in college and he goes oh..."You know, I met someone once...who was in high school". That...thats just...great, kid...your parents must be so proud of you...

Oh! Apparently I'm also a horrible person who curses all the time, is a racist, and worst of all watches horrible tv shows. Yep...according to my sister, not only am I not fit to be the church sexton, I'm too horrible of a person to even set foot in a church. Hah...what fun!

Worst Movie Ever

2008-05-28T17:24:00.003-04:00

Wow...this movie. I watched it for like...ten minutes. Just flipping around looking for stuff on the tv and I see Freddy vs Jason. Now, I'd played with the thought of seeing it, cuz I mean come on, its Freddy and Jason...fighting each other. But...I hate scary movies and being scared in general so...yeah, not happening. Then it was on and I'm like "cool! see if its any good." I was laughing. It was the funniest slasher movie I have ever seen!

Freddy traps this one girl in his dream world, and gets her into a locker. He is about to kill her, when she dissolves. Then he starts yelling at no one, stuff like "NOOOO!!! THIS ONE WAS MINE!!!". Hillarious. Then Jason gets lit on fire and starts slowly walking after this kid in the cornfield. Best part: The fire isn't lighting all the corn...then it pans out and it kinda is...in a trail of where he is walking! So there is this big flaming hulk of a man, on fire, leaving a flaming trail through the corn. So they get out of the cornfield, and the guy is freaking out...when Jason THROWS his FLAMING SWORD at him. The sword burst through him (still on fire) and flaming Jason kills a but of random ravers till he gets doused in beer and becomes drunk Jason...not quite as cool as flaming Jason.

My god...were they trying to make a comedy? Honestly...I am probably the biggest coward when it comes to these kinds of movies...but even I would laugh through this.

Hahaha...kidcreamcones...

2008-05-26T23:26:00.010-04:00

Aight so...multi-day post coming up. Grab a beer and some...whatever you snack on with that, and settle in for a nice long pointless post.

~~~Friday~~~

Flowers...flowers...FLOWERS...OMGWTFBBQ FLOWERSSSS. Three hours of flower shopping. Now, dont get me wrong, I love flowers. But the flowers I like are generally found in a nice bouquet or vase, or at the very least already in the ground and, most importantly, in ONE PLACE. As if going out looking at similar flower after similar flower for three hours wasn't enough, we went to three different stores. Worse, the stores weren't even near each other.

The first one was home depot which was fine, just a little bit up (or is it down? bah...proper directional speak can kiss my ass...) rt 17, in paramus or something like that. But then, after spending like a hundred dollars on flowers that wont even last past this year, my darling mother decided to go to another shop. Why? Cuz she didn't like the bleeding hearts at the stores on 17. So what do we do? She drags me to Dumont or some such place where there is supposed to be another...whatever a flower store is called. Best part - she hasn't been there in years, so it might not exist anymore, IF she could even find her way there.

So...we finally get the and we're wandering around...life is good, right? Then she decides...she wants a tree. A tree. Well, a mini-tree to be precise, but still...who do you think has to pick up this monstrosity? So, I get this thing up onto the cart when she looks and notices a dead branch. Now...of course we can't have that, so I have to put it back and grab another one. And guess what! ...this one was even bigger.

We buy all her plants (totals up to like 250, 300 by then), pack up the car (its a miracle we fit it all in), and start to head home. My mom makes a comment about going to another one, and I say thing equivalent to "over my dead body", and settle back. Except for one bee incident (honestly mom, you brought 300 dollars worth of flowers into the car...yeah, there is gonna be a bee), its pretty quiet so I'm kinda zoning out. Then I notice that the car has pull off the road. I look up, and to my horror see yet another shop. I'm like, ready to die and I tell her flat out no. But...you dont say no to my mother. Well, you can, but it really means the same thing as yes to her.

So, we go in and start to look around. Nice flowers everywhere, but no bleeding hearts in this section. So we move inside and walk through the section with the fresh produce. Let me tell you...it was heavenly. Now I can't wait for the farmer's market to open up in Ridgewood. Anyway, my mother asks the cashier if they have any bleeding hearts, and the wise ass kid come back with "Did you see any? If not then no...what, think we are hiding them?" "Actually yes, thats exactly what she thought jackass." And yes...I did say that. We keep looking and find ourselves in this weird little outdoor section, where lo and behold, Bleeding hearts. Honest to god...they hid the Bleeding hearts.

~~~Saturday~~~

So...why do we hate order? People seem to shudder at the idea of conformity, or similarities, or allowing things to have a formula or pattern to them. Why is this? When you take away order, what remains is simply chaos. People seem to desire this...natural chaos. I simply dont understand. Chaos is dangerous, wild and unpredictable. Order...order is the pinnacle of mankind's achievements. To take what was "natural" and mold it into something that follows patterns is an accomplishment, not a danger. When God created the world, he took what was chaotic, formless and without use, and controlled its chaotic impulses. God created order out of chaos when he made this world...much like we can create order with the simple hobby of gardening.

The bushes...what is wrong with making them square? Presenting a natural yet controlled barrier, it does the job of a fence but with the pristine beauty of a plant. But...people say that it is not natural. If you are forcing it into that simple geometric shape you are robbing it of its ability to follow the course of life set down in its DNA. Yet, not ten minutes later, the same person will complain about a person not caring for their lilac bushes properly. When asked what that mean, they answer cutting away the weedy or dead growths. Here is what I do not understand...how is this any more natural than shaping the bushes? If you need to do the cutting yourself, then it cannot happen naturally, which means that it is a product of human interference. How is this different? If the one is deemed unnatural than so must be the other.

~~~Sunday~~~

He is finally leaving. Pastor Fred will be gone in a year. It is about time. The man is smart, far too smart to be honest, but that is not the issue. He is arrogant. He is smart, and he acts like he knows it. That is not proper behavior for a pastor. Matt was the best thing that happened to our church. He brought the youth ministry to the point where teens were going multiple times a week, and bring with them people from other churches. But Fred...he couldn't have that. Matt connected with people better than he ever could, and that was a threat to him. So...he made working there hell for Matt until Matt left. And when he did all the good he did, the expansions and effects he had on people, withered and died. Till now, we are at a worse spot than where we began.

Even without that though, it is past time for Fred to leave. He has embedded himself into the church to the point where it is not a church of God, it is a church of Fred. Perfect example. After Matt left, Fred and the elders made a statement to the church that due to group division over the subject of his leaving, Fred would be kept for one year, during which they would search for a replacement. I told everyone then, that he would not leave, that it was a ploy to make people forget and then make a move to keep him on. No one listened to me.

That was two years ago. Needless to say, I was right. They went through the motions, and when the deadline drew near, they received a message from God(Fred). It was not time for Fred to leave, there was "too much healing to be done to make such a move at that time." What a shock. Fred waved his fingers and he was back, with little to no protestation. It was this whole bullshit act that finally drove me away from pursuing a career in the ministry. Fred should have left years ago...and now it is finally happening...now that it is something he can control (point and case, his sermon today on what makes a good pastor...but of course he "doesn't want to influence any one's decision").

~~~Monday~~~

HOMEWORK IS NOT TO BE DONE BY THE FAMILY! It does someone no good at all to have someone else do the work assigned. How else can you learn, or at least be ready for the test? That's not the worst though...if you are going to cheat and basically have your brother write your Macbeth paper for you, WRITE WHAT HE TELLS YOU THE FIRST FUCKING TIME. Honestly, I give her what she needs to know, that should be enough. But then, an hour later she calls me and asks me to repeat it, cuz she "forgot to write it down". Know what that mean? The bachelorette was on and she decided to watch that instead. NOT COOL. I repeat it, and go back to what I'm doing...and an hour later she calls AGAIN. UNBELIEVABLE. If you aren't going to listen the first or second time, how dare you call again and make me go through it AGAIN? And shame on you mother for allowing it. That little stunt with coming up to my room and forcing me to when I refused the third time was completely inappropriate. Next time, think about the truth behind whats going on before blindly believing what your prize child says. Guess what - I might not get as good grades as her, I might not be smart, but if that is how she is accomplishing what she is doing then I am a million times better than her. I can make it on my own...I dont need you forcing someone to feed me answers, and I dont want that. If I can't figure it out on my own then I'll seek help for the process of getting the answer, not for the answer itself. It is the process that matters in school anyway. You are a teacher...it is shameful that you would allow that. You know the effect it will have. Who cares if she is in the honors society? If she gets to college because of that and still can't analyze a work of literature for symbols then she will have a hell of a hard time when she has to do it without you. That is the benefit I have. You never helped me...so now I am self-reliant. She will not be.

M'kay...so...not much else to say...so I'll just give you a happy picture and say g'night y'all!

19 is the new 18

2008-05-20T14:09:00.006-04:00

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Older, stronger, and now with a delicious fruity aftertaste! Well...two out of three isn't bad...but just you wait! End of the summer I'll lift a car! But yeah...happy belated birthday to me!

Yeah...that's nice. So what happened...slept late!!! Good stuff...got a new phone...well, not really a phone, its a razr. Unfortunately, that meant giving up my old phone. Got all my numbers and pics transferred so that's all good...but they didn't transfer any games or ring tones or saved texts. Now, games and ring tones I can get again. Texts...not so much. Honestly, its probably for the best that they are all gone...but still, it wasn't pleasant.

Fun stuff now! I got American Idol for Wii from my sister! Well, technically my mother and I found it while we were out shopping, I tricked her into trying it in the store, and she found a way to get it for my sister - by buying it for my sister to give to me! How clever! Too bad they didn't think about what will happen when I go back to college next semester. Heh...can't wait for room wide Idol competitions. Bring it on!

Well, I took my sister, her friend Kristina (BFFS!!!!), and her boyfriend (Kristina's, not Amy's. She isn't dating anyone till she graduates college. Or I die. Whichever happens last.) out to lunch on Friday. It was...interesting. I think I heard about 35 different stories over the hour. By which I mean Kristina started to tell a story, got distracted by the waitress or a tangent story or a fly that landed on the wall of the building across the street from the entrance (dont laugh, it happened!), and forgot to tell the end of it. If you ask how many complete stories I heard...I think maybe 5. Watch out Brittany...she might even be able to tire you out! Needless to say I went home after that and promptly passed outt.

This weekend was my sister's dance recital...and thats always fun! Actually, it usually is very good...which is why its so sad that this company has gone downhill. The recitals used to be a big spectical of lights and sound and dance but now...the dances tend to be clumsy and kinda boring. Oh well...some of the numbers were good...but I'll not be too upset when my sister stops doing it at the end of this summer.

Well, I gotta get going...tutoring Geometry soon! 30 bucks for an hour of doing math...I gotta remember this! And if it goes well...could go to a couple times a week...which would be great! Miss all you guys! Stay fabulous!

RIP Scrapper...

2008-05-11T21:25:00.007-04:00

So...Scrapper died...in case you didn't know, he was my grandfather's dog. I know it doesn't seem like that big of a thing since it wasn't my dog or anything, but he was the most adorable old dog I ever met. And since we spent at least a couple weeks with them every summer I was certainly around him enough. This summer at the cabin will not be the same without his doggy grin stumbling around. Rest in peace you cute old thing.

Now, for happier things! So I'm going to be doing VBS this year...thats Vacation Bible School for those of you who...well actually, for all of you. I'll be running one of the days of BIBLE BLAST!!! Yep...I'll be acting out bible stories or something like that...and yes, I already asked and they wont let me play Jesus...if they know about it.

Still looking for a job, but I have two good leads. A local video game store is hiring, which would be pretty sweet. Considering the amount of time and money I've spent there, they'll really just be giving me back some of the money I've given them...kinda pathetic actually. Other one is a bit more interesting...security guard! Yep...called up a company hiring, and they said they's get me certified and place me in an office or something. Kinda not a typical summer job but...it'd be freakin sweet!

Well, thats it for tonight...happy belated mother's day to you mothers, future mothers, and fake mothers. And um...your presents on the way hun...it er...didn't come in on time. Tell the kids hello for me! Or dont...just dont steal my dessert! Or...at least leave me half...or one bite? Or you can have it all...

ADDENDUM: so...apparently more sex makes men live longer. Average is once a week...bump it up to two and you get three more years! Women...behold! Your greatest weapon is now scientifically proven! Like your man? He gets you nice things? Put out and you'll get three extra years of your hot stud! But...man pissing you off? Using money that should go to your new shoes on baseball tickets? Use the latest and greatest method of unwilling divorce...DEATH BY ABSTINANCE!!!

Welcome, Welcome, Welcome!

2008-05-11T00:04:00.000-04:00

Welcome my dears, to the beginning of the end! Yes, I am afraid that this is sign number 23 that the apocalypse is coming. I, George Dewey Kelly IV, have created a blog. Cower in fear, as the reaper of men's sanity reaches new minds through the wonder of teh internets!

I'm gonna start things off nice and slow in here, and give y'all a simple taste of this wonderfully amusing show I saw tonight. Charlotte's Web...what a tale! Laughed from the moment I entered the theater till the scene where the spider died. Oops...did I give away the ending? Aww...what a tragedy! Give me a minute to pretend I care...

Well, now that I'm done giving a hoot, I'd like to thank some of the unsung moments of the show for giving me such enjoyment. First off, there was Teddy, the dancing bear! Who can forget the profound impact he had on Wilbur and Charlotte, giving them the honey they needed to fend off the invasion of killer honeysucklers! Who would ever have expected them to poison the honey and bring to end the terrible threat to the farm? What? That didn't happen? Yeah...I know...but there was a random dancing bear in the middle of the show! I just...you know, wanted to give him a more crucial role! Christ...not like its worse than when I rewrote the bible to say Jesus rose in three days instead of four. Oh...um...forget I said that, ok? It would spoil my big bang gift to the Pope next year...

Another fantastic moment involved...l'anticrista!!!! Nothing compares to the sheer level of discomfort she felt every time she saw me. Which, you know, was very often considering we were sitting near each other. Ah...the subtle discomfort she showed as she spotted me while heading to her seat, panicked, and ran away. And then of course, there was when she ducked around people when she had to walk past me. Heh...I guess she thought I couldn't see her sneaking around? Hun...you're tiny, but far from that small. Oh! And what about all the times I caught her looking at me with that cute little glint of fear in her eyes? Good times...good times. Seriously though...am I that scary? Sure, I'm slightly crazy but...I never did anything to hurt her, and if she would just talk to me once she would find out that I have no desire to ruin the happy little bubble she has built up. She is nothing to me any more, and if she wishes to make herself miserable every time I come home from college, then thats her own choice. No skin off my nose!

All in all, good night! Funny show, good acting, plenty of awkward moments to make me feel like I was back at the 'Berg. Still missing y'all though! I'll be thinking of you as I plot my little plots! Which actually...might not be a good thing for you...oh well! I'm sure I wouldn't do anything too bad to all you guys...well, till tomorrow, good night, dears. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning! (bonus points if you know the reference!)